Wow, I thought I was back to my normal self. I very quickly learned last night that apparently I'm not. It's amazing how quickly things can unravel.
I was so happy, I was having so much fun, and I was feeling like myself again. I had even decided it was ok for me to like someone again. Apparently I let myself go too quickly.
Where do I start? So I got wrapped up in liking someone, probably more than I should of (but hell, he said the same thing)...I thought things were going very well, and we were very much on the same page as to where things were headed. He was even coming to visit me for the weekend. The countdown we had going was great, he even sent me my favorite flowers with the simple message "two more weeks." SO SWEET!! Well the day he's supposed to get here, I find out he's decided he's not coming. The only explanation, his excitement just wasn't there anymore.
What a way to start the weekend huh?? Oh, but it doesn't stop there.....
Of course to keep my mind off of the fact that I didn't have my guy come visit, I went out last night. I haven't been at the bar very long and I get a text message from my ex saying he was there. First words out of my mouth..."Are you freaking kidding me?!?!" We still talk, but we don't hang out anymore, and I haven't seen him out since we broke up. He did come up and talk to me, and it was good to see him, but at the same time it also made me miss him all over again. Needless to say, I did a complete 180 and was definitely not myself for the rest of the night. I didn't even dance, and if you know me, I love to dance!
Oh well....like I said, just when you thought you were ok......
Sunday, November 20, 2005
Thursday, November 03, 2005
The count down begins....
Ok, so I mentioned one of the boys that I've been talking to does not live in AZ, and that we were to take a trip to Vegas soon. Well unfortunately we had to push that trip back a couple weeks. But the countdown begins! Two weeks from tomorrow!
The more minute part of this, he may just come here to Phoenix instead! YEAH!! :-)
So apparently my writing here has also come back to bite me in the butt. One of the great guys that I have been talking to here in town came across this blog, and was not so happy to see my glowing reviews of my Oklahoma boy. I can't say I blame him, I probably wouldn't like seeing something like that either, but when it comes right down to it...He and I just met. Maybe I'm being harsh here, but we did only go out a few times. Does that mean I don't like him? No. Does that mean he's a bad guy, or I'm not interested? No. It means that I'm single, and shouldn't have to make a snap decision.
Ok, so continuing with updates....This last relationship really left me jaded. When you have a relationship end, seemingly for no reason, it's hard to not blame yourself, and feel like you're just never going to meet some one. That's what I've been going through ever since my ex and I broke up. I knew I needed to get out there, have fun, and meet new people, and that's what I've done. But I've very much got it in my head that I don't want another relationship, I don't want to go through the hurt and anguish that I've gone through after my last two break-ups. It just hasn't seemed worth setting myself up for that kind of hurt again. The building up and tearing down of a relationship can definitely be rough.
Well.....I've gotta say that thought is quickly flying out the window. The more I talk to my Oklahoma boy, the more I realize that there is someone out there who can be what I'm looking for. Someone who has those ideals of the perfect relationship, who is willing to give as much as I am... Has the politeness, manners, and respect of a Southerner...The more we talk, the more I learn about him, the more I like about him, and start to think that this is something definitely worth trying. Distance sucks, don't get me wrong, BUT the nice thing is that the distance forces us to truly get to know each other. There's none of the "acting" or "posturing" that we all do when you have those first few dates. There's just sheer honesty. Perhaps that's why we don't seem to have any qualms about talking the way that we do, and saying the things that we do. It's an amazing change, and a wonderful change to speak to someone, and have potential with someone that is so willing to share their feelings with me.
I can't stop smiling.... :-)
The more minute part of this, he may just come here to Phoenix instead! YEAH!! :-)
So apparently my writing here has also come back to bite me in the butt. One of the great guys that I have been talking to here in town came across this blog, and was not so happy to see my glowing reviews of my Oklahoma boy. I can't say I blame him, I probably wouldn't like seeing something like that either, but when it comes right down to it...He and I just met. Maybe I'm being harsh here, but we did only go out a few times. Does that mean I don't like him? No. Does that mean he's a bad guy, or I'm not interested? No. It means that I'm single, and shouldn't have to make a snap decision.
Ok, so continuing with updates....This last relationship really left me jaded. When you have a relationship end, seemingly for no reason, it's hard to not blame yourself, and feel like you're just never going to meet some one. That's what I've been going through ever since my ex and I broke up. I knew I needed to get out there, have fun, and meet new people, and that's what I've done. But I've very much got it in my head that I don't want another relationship, I don't want to go through the hurt and anguish that I've gone through after my last two break-ups. It just hasn't seemed worth setting myself up for that kind of hurt again. The building up and tearing down of a relationship can definitely be rough.
Well.....I've gotta say that thought is quickly flying out the window. The more I talk to my Oklahoma boy, the more I realize that there is someone out there who can be what I'm looking for. Someone who has those ideals of the perfect relationship, who is willing to give as much as I am... Has the politeness, manners, and respect of a Southerner...The more we talk, the more I learn about him, the more I like about him, and start to think that this is something definitely worth trying. Distance sucks, don't get me wrong, BUT the nice thing is that the distance forces us to truly get to know each other. There's none of the "acting" or "posturing" that we all do when you have those first few dates. There's just sheer honesty. Perhaps that's why we don't seem to have any qualms about talking the way that we do, and saying the things that we do. It's an amazing change, and a wonderful change to speak to someone, and have potential with someone that is so willing to share their feelings with me.
I can't stop smiling.... :-)
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