Taking the hint

So I recently wrote about a guy who just would not disappear. (The guy who "traveled so far" to see me, and apparently thinks that one date = a relationship).

Well I spent the weekend with my family up in Indiana. Of course we're enjoying Christmas, and having a great time. As my trip is winding down, I get a call from said guy again. In my head I'm thinking "this guy can't honestly be calling me again??" Sure enough, about 5 minutes later, the voicemail beep goes off. Sure enough, it was him again. This time he went off on a 5 minute tirade about how he wasn't the one showing his true colors (a term I'd used with him because he claimed to be a gentleman and then tried to get me drunk and take advantage of me), but that really I was showing what an awful person I was. He did manage to contradict himself several times. He talked about how it was awful the emails we'd been exchanging, but then in the next breath said that it was horrible of me to never return his calls, his texts, his emails.... (this guy isn't the brightest bulb on the strand). Anyway after listening to this tirade, I'm pissed, this guy has now managed to intrude on my great holiday!

So what do I do? I text him. Here's what I said

"Look, I'm in indiana with family. These calls need to stop. I am dating someone else now. You need to learn that one date is not a relationship. I do not just fool around, but you can think whatever you want. Going back and re-hashing how much money you spent, I DON'T CARE!! PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE."

Apparently he wasn't too happy with that! Psycho boy then proceeds to send me a plethora of messages about how I'm a whore, that I'm a fat b!tch and he felt sorry for me, and that's why he went out with me (right, if he felt sorry for me, why's he the one driving an hour each way, and paying for me to go out?!?)...The messages got very crude, and used some words that I don't feel comfortable saying myself. I sent one message back:

" LOL. Grow up"

To that I got several more messages about being a slut, and again words I'm not comfortable using (wow all this from a so-called gentleman??). But of course, he ends it all with "but you've got nice boobs." LOL go figure! Oh and the parting words "Don't be a whore..."

Is this what I have to look forward to out here? Older guys that act like their two when they get rejected?!?

WARNING: Rant ahead - Childish Men

When guys hit 30, do they revert to acting like toddlers??

I don't know what's goin around the east coast here (sorry to generalize), but wow guys are childish here.

My luck has changed around here, that's for sure. I went from guys I like disappearing, to guys I don't like who won't disappear. Here are the two stories I've had recently. (I'll warn you now, they're poorly written simply because I'm just in a ranting mood):

So I decided to try Match.com. It's been interesting to say the least. The very first guy I went out with look anything like his picture, and just totally wasn't my type. We did the day date thing, and that was really it. He kept pushing me to go to a party with him that night, and I just didn't want to go. It was a crowd I wasn't really comfortable with. Well he called me that night about 3 times, asking me to come to the party. Then, I went out of town to visit friends, and he just kept calling (even though he knew I was gone). I told him I wasn't going to be on the phone while I was gone, and I'd see about giving him a call when I get back (basically, the polite way of saying, nope, I'm not gonna call). Well out of no where, like two days ago he messages me on Match asking me if I like this cold weather. I probably shouldn't have responded...well then I got a message from him on myspace asking why he gets all of my blog updates. I proceeded to tell him that I didn't know because he was no longer on my friends list. Well he then decides he needs to make a comment about my default picture, and how he never would have given me the time of day if it weren't for my boobs, and he hopes that the project men I'm dating now are better than him. (I'd previously mentioned to him that in the past, I dated what I call "project men" and that I've moved away from that). Anyway he proceeds to go in to all of these childish things to say, something about my skin color, how it doesn't fit me or something like that. Then he just keeps going on about some other stuff (shoot I should have saved those emails!) Wow, where did this come from??

Another guy I went out with recently... well he's a trip all the way around! Prior to going out, he told me how he was such a gentleman, and how he doesn't even like to kiss on a first date. Well we go out, we go to watch Arizona basketball. I was fine just having a few beers, apparently he thought it would be a good idea for me to do a few shots after Arizona won. Anyway I wasn't really liking how things were going so I decided we should go meet my roommates at the bar (kind of a tell tale sign when the girl you're going out with wants to go meet other people). We did, and we continued to drink more. Well we all go back to the house, and he wasn't going to drive home. I left him playing cards with the roommates while I went to sleep. Somewhere along the line he came back to my room too. He goes home the next day, and is calling me the whole way home - telling me how much he likes me, how I made him blush (huh?!?!) and just all sorts of WAY TOO SOON stuff. Later that evening he called AGAIN, and "jokingly" says he's outside my place. (that's not so funny to me!!) Since then, it's just gotten even more weird I recently got an email from him asking if "whatever we should call this" is over, and if this is goodbye? Because, if it is, he will return the Christmas present he got me (ummm it's a bit soon for gift exchanges) I've also recently gotten emails telling me how he's cried over me, and that I'm just a player, and how could I get back on Match.com after our date (umm it was one date, not a relationship - I'm not tied yet), and that he never should have opened himself up to me. I've told him that I don't think he's much of a gentleman at all after taking advantage of a situation where he got me drunk. Oh well I'm at fault a bit there too, but come on. This dude apparently thought we were together after one date...personally, something has to start before it can end. the last email he got from me was "STOP CONTACTING ME"

WOW - what can I say about all this?!?! Other than - sheesh, and I though dating was tough back in Phoenix.....

A little update on Jessica

So I have been doing a lot of thinking lately, and I wonder how hard we should judge ourselves. Recently, I've been analyzing my big move to the east. Career-wise I think it was a great idea for me to get some new and different experiences on my resume. Socially, and mentally, I'm not so sure it was good for me.

The end of October, beginning of November, I spent 3 weeks back "home" in Phoenix. Prior to leaving Phoenix, I was thinking that I wasn't where I wanted to be. (and in some ways I wasn't) I definitely realize now that I had a great support system there. I had a great group of friends that would let me vent when I needed, they made sure that I was never too serious, but always understood that my job required a certain level of seriousness, and respected that. I guess hind sight is always 20/20.

In the DC area, I've had the HARDEST time acclimating. I like to think that I've tried to stay positive, but I don't think I really have, and I think that has been noticible to others. That has probably played a huge part in why I have not made many friends here. Even the friends that I thought I've had, really have not acted like it at all.

So now, I am left wondering, have I made the right choices by leaving my home? Or, was this all a lesson for me to learn what great things I had back home?

I never thought I'd say this...

...but today, I am embarassed to be from Arizona.

(This blog is a little different than normal, it touches on one of my passions, politics, instead of dating).

Perhaps you've read, or seen on TV lately some stories about Arizona's new 9/11 Memorial. It was dedicated by our Governor on September 11, 2006. It is anything but a Memorial, it's basically one large political yard sign in the front yard of our State Capitol. It's a disgrace that this is how our state has decided to memorialize this event with political statements.

Some of the statements that are etched (not grafitti, actually a part of the memorial) on the memorial are:

“You don’t win battles of terrorism with more battles”

“Congress questions why CIA & FBI didn’t prevent attacks”

Below are some links to video of Arizonans on national news speaking about their outrage that this memorial represents the citizens of Arizona. I'm right there with them, this is rediculous.

Greg Patterson on "Fox & Friends" discussing the 9-11 Memorial in Wesley Bowlin Plaza : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jZbwRv21_Lg&NR

Rep. Russell Pearce talks to Brian Wilson on Fox News:
http://hotair.com/archives/2006/09/24/video-fox-covers-arizona-911-memorial-controversy/

Here is the Arizona Republican Party's Response to this "memorial":

Arizona Republican Party Commercial : http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JJlhAbj63hk

(disclaimer: this memorial was privately funded, but placed on state property.)

He's Just Not That Into You

So I know I've talked about this book before, and it's a great book. I definitely suggest that if you're single, and female, you need to read this book. BUT what about where it left off...

Ok so ultimately, if you read this, when you get to the end, you will say "Well Jess, these guys, just aren't that into you!" BUT I've gotta put this out there anyway.

Let's see here. Since being in NOVA 3 guys, 3 disappearances. Well as the book says, you should let the guys chase you. If they are interested in you, they will come after you. Well I know this, and I've definitely been good about sticking to this. I'll return calls, I don't make the initial contact in any situation. I'll be honest though, it hasn't done well.

Here is what has happened. I've gone out with three different guys here, and each of them, I've had a great time with, more than once. Several dates usually, going over the course of a few weeks. Each of them, has all of a sudden dropped off the face of the planet. I've never pursued too much, just keeping to my thing, my friends, but enjoying the time that I had with these guys. One of them, especially. (A small side note, none of these overlapped - they were all separate incidents.)

In this last incident, this guy and I were hitting it off from our very first date. It was amazing. We spoke every day, and would get together when he was not traveling for work. Then, last week, we had an "unexpected" date. We didn't have any plans originally but we both knew we had some busy times ahead. So we got together and then had plans to get together the next night as well. Our "unexpected" night was great; we were talking about what we had planned upcoming (me going to Atlanta), him going to North Carolina for work. We knew he was going to be gone for about 3 weeks for work, so we'd even talked about me coming to visit NC for his birthday. Well we came home, and had a great rest of the evening Then, the next day, it came time for me to leave work, I called him to let him know I was on my way home. That was it, and since then, nothing! For 5 days...

I guess he's just not that into me right? But why hook a girl in, and talk "future" stuff, if you have no intention of following through? I get the "signs" of showing you're not interested.

So this is where "He's Just Not that Into You" leaves off...The book doesn't address what it means, or what to do when the guy does show all the signs of being into you (i.e. him pursuing you, coming to you, etc) but then all of a sudden takes off. It's just one of those things I guess... the base line is still true...

Nightlife in the District

So being in a bigger city does not necessarily mean better night life. Or at least that's what I'm seeing so far. There are definitely more "glitzy," stand in line to see if you're chosen type places here (which have their place every once and a while). But I've yet to find that place that reminds me of Scottsdale, and the fun I had there.

Scottsdale is known for being cool and chic, but still laid back in nature. I guess because we are blessed to have a plethora (well I guess not as much anymore) space, and great weather, we have a lot of indoor / outdoor places. Even during the winter, the outdoor areas are packed. My favorite, by far is Devil's Martini (both North & South). At any place you're going to have your "VIP" group (read: I think I'm important and pay so you know it) that relates to pretty much everyone here in DC. Devil's was that great mix of a place. Not quite a bar, but not quite a club either. There was always a great mix of people, a great mix of music, and always a good time.

I definitely need to find a place like that here!! But maybe it's the people here, not the places, and I just haven't found the friends I'll have fun with here like I did back home.

Where Have all the Good Men Gone?

I'm sure I've probably written something like this before, but every once and a while I just have a moment and go, "am I dumb?" I know all of us have had it happen before, and more often than not, it's us women that it happen to. I will be the first person to admit that when it comes to people, I'm a little naive, and sometimes too trusting. I have a tendency to give people the benefit of the doubt, until they prove me wrong.

Well I've gone out on a couple dates since I've been here in D.C., with a couple guys that I thought were great. Now these weren't thoughts that were put in to my head prior to us going out and spending an extended period of time together, these thoughts came from great conversation, great exchanges in ideas, and commonalities in life. (I know what you're thinking, it could all be an act, and in hind sight, I think that could be true.)

Both of these dates were not your typical dinner and a movie type thing. They tended to be those perfect, long dates. Where you think you're going to start out just doing one thing, and it turns in to a sequence of fun events. One of those "day-long" dates. In both of those instances, I didn't hear from the guy again. (Ok, one of the guys called once after that, nothing after that).

Guys, this is where it's your turn to chime in...
Personally, if I'm not having a good time with someone, I don't want to be around them. I sure as heck am not going to go on an extended date with them! Would you?

Both of these instances are just about a month behind me now. I'm still holding out hope that the guys on the east coast aren't all like this...

Boys Really Do Live in Their Own World

First a little background: (Please read the blog "self fufilling prophecy") The jerk of a guy referred to in that blog is who this is about:

Well that guy has been dating a waitress at the bar that we all tend to hang out at. (When I say all, I mean him, me, his friends (who are now my friends), and my friends). Well apparently she got to know what I know about this guy, he's a jerk, a liar, and well just plain rude...I was hanging out at the bar she works at on Saturday night. She showed up (not working) and proclaimed to one of the bartenders there "Hey, I just took meathead downtown, and left him there with his buddies." WOW, that's awesome!

Thinking that this is just hiliarious, I proceed to text message Chris (the guy's friend) to tell him this story so we can laugh at him. Well since Chris is guy's friend, he calles him to see if he needs a ride. A few hours later, I get a call from said guy...I don't answer. Fast forward to Sunday...My phone rings about 11:00 a.m. it is said guy again, I don't answer. Two minutes later, phone rings AGAIN, AGAIN it is said guy. This time he leaves a message (that goes something like this):

"hey jess, I know we haven't been getting along all that well lately(UH DUH!! I don't get along with liars!)but I just wanted to thank you for letting Chris know that we got left downtown last night. I guess that shows me what that girl is really like. I really respect that you did that. You're a cool chick, we should hang out again some time."

YEAH RIGHT!! I don't see that happening again. I'll be cordial to you when I see ya at a bar, but come on!! Well today, I get the following email from Chris:

"Forgot about the grandaddy of all dumb statements last night. Have a seat. Brace yourself. He said " Yeah I could hook back up with Jessica if I wanted! She wants it! The sex was just too good!"
Oh yes, he said that. He said he called but you were probably in bed or something on Sunday. I told him you were on a date on Sunday. It gets better.
My friend Barbie called me about that time, we talked for a few minutes. She wants to come over on Friday and party and see the new apartment. Mike said "yeah I dont understand, everytime I call her she never answers or calls back. How come she allways answers for you and calls you? Thats strange." Then he tops it off with a "yeah she wants me!" She umm, lesbian, hellloooooo!!

WOW!!! Someone is DEFINITELY in their own world.

What I have learned since moving to D.C.

1. Don't date people you meet on the Metro.

2. Don't live with girls.

3. Ask for a more detailed description when your roommate tells you her furniture is "Western themed."

4. Only you will take care of you (well ok, I already knew that).

5. Tanning is expensive on the east coast.

6. Having a bar across the street from your apartment can make life interesting.

7. An ex-boyfriend can actually produce great friends!

8. Being a Sugar Momma is only for wealthy women over 50!

Truth in Advertising & Self fulfilling Prophecy

So I've been on the east coast for just about a month now. It has definitely been interesting. I got here, and right away I met a guy. He seemed great. Great job, funny, romantic, very sweet. I was really enjoying spending time with him. But then I began realizing, we were spending EVERY day or night together. I'm sorry, but I can't do that kind of time with anyone. The bonus of this all was that I was meeting his friends. A couple of great guys that are just super fun to hang out with. Well, apparently that did not go over too well with this guy. Especially that his one friend and I got along so well. He (the guy) and his roommate were convinced that the friend and I would hook up.

Well, the more time I began spending with this guy (the one I'd been dating), the more I realize, wow, he's really not all that bright. Team that up with the fact that he seems to have a bit of a temper, and that's just a combination I'm not willing to deal with. Do I want a chivalrous man that will look out for me? Yes. Do I want a guy who thinks that any look my way is a threat to him? NO WAY.

Sure enough all of this came to a "conclusion" last week. The guy and I had a little bit of a fight because I decided I needed to spend some time at home, with my dog, taking care of my place, and not at his place drinking with him and his friends. Well one of the friends said I should come join all of them later that evening (this was a Sunday, fight - Sunday morning, bar-Sunday evening) at the bar across from my apartment. I go, and things seem normal, but there's definitely some tension between us. I continue to have fun with everyone there, and even go to stay with the guy that night.

Fast forward to Wednesday of last week (3 days later). I have not heard from the boy in 3 days. His roommate is asking if I've talked to him, and so are his friends. I let them know that I have not, but that I assume this is a test in stubbornness, 'cause I was not about to be the first to break, and call him. Sure enough I hear through the grape-vine that he and his roommate are drinking at the bar across the street, and they are wasted. A couple hours later, the boy calls. He proceeds to get mad at me for not calling him (bare in mind he hasn't called either), and just gets mad about nothing, and keeps going on about how it was a bad idea to call.

So of course, who is the first person I call? His friend (the one I get along with). He just laughs and says "That's Mike for ya..." Well we get to talking about what everyone is supposed to do that weekend, and I find out everyone (excluding me) is supposed to be headed to the friend's house down on the island. Well, he wants nothing to do with this so we decide he'll pick me up from the airport on Friday night, and we'll go out. We have a great time! Finally, I've gone out with no drama, and a MUCH smaller bar tab (did I mention this kid I dated lost his job a week in to seeing him, but he wanted me to fund his NIGHTLY dinner's and drinks out?). During this weekend of fun, all the truths start coming out about the (now-ex) guy. Turns out his military past, doesn't really exist; that great job he had, well, wasn't so great. Turns out just about everything he said was a lie. The friend proceeds to tell me (but I already knew) that Mike was trying to hit on girls all the time when we were out. To which I responded, "yeah, I know...Why do you think I wouldn't take my hand out of his?"

Moral of the story...What do you think the second half of the title (self fulfilling prophecy) means? ;-)

New Location, New Stories

Well, I'm doing it; I'm picking up, leaving Arizona, and moving to Washington, D.C.!! So be prepared for new stories, new guys, all in a new city. I'm sure there's going to be great stories to tell.

In the mean time, I want to let all of my AZ friends know how much I'm going to miss them all!! Here are some memories from AZ. I love you guys, I'm gonna miss you all!

Check out the slide show here

Onward & Upward!!

Well those of you who know me, know that this past year has been a bit tumultuous. It had some great ups, and some definite downs as well. Well I am happy to say that 2006 is off to a great start!

The year started off with me having my tonsils removed. How is this good? This means a 2006 without tonsilitis! During my recovery, I began getting calls from White House personnel offices in several departments within the federal government. Before long, I was in D.C. going through FOUR interviews in one day (something I don't highly recommend by the way). An interview with the Department of Agriculture, Homeland Security, OPIC (Overseas Private Investment Corp.), and the Office of Protocol at the State Department. I walked out of each interview with confidence, not only in what they thought about me, but how I thought I did.

I returned home on Tuesday. Late Wednesday afternoon I recieved a call from the Whitehouse Personnel office at the Department of Agriculture. I GOT THE JOB!!!!

This is the start to a great year: new job, new city, and great friends.

On a side note, Congratulations to my good friend Chara who also just accepted a position in D.C. :-)

Friends and more... (part two)

"Who needs enemies when you have friends like these?" - great quote! But what is even more amazing, is how quickly someone can go from friend to enemy.

I have a friend that I went through some hard times with. We were both unemployed at the same time, and spent a lot of time together, trying to help each other out. Well I tried to help her too much, and it came back to bite me in the ass (yes, yet again!). To this day this girl tries to do just about anything she can to get under my skin. Her approach really is childish too. It makes me wonder how old she really is!!

Message to her: Grow up, you're the one who needs to get a life (and a real job for that matter).

Friends and more....

I think that I have been pretty lucky to have some very good friends in my life. One in particular, Audrey. Audrey is my rock, as I am for her....we've definitely come to the conclusion that we keep each other sane! Unfortunately for the past year, Audrey has been stationed in Japan, and now she is currently attending a school in Virginia. So needless to say, we have not seen each other much, but my sanity has returned to a much more normal level since she has gotten back to America, and we can at least speak on the phone on a regular basis.

On the flip side of that, I've recently realized that a lot of people I considered friends aren't quite as quality friends as I thought. I feel bad saying that, but for most of these people I've gone way out on a limb for them, helped them in one way or another, and most likely dropped everything to do it.

Most of you who know me also know that there are very few times that I actually ask for help...but knowing that I was going to be stuck at home for two weeks straight, I put a request out to pretty much everyone I know in Phoenix to come visit during those two weeks. Out of probably 30 people, 3 people came to see me over the entire two weeks that I was stuck at home. How sad is that?

It really makes me wonder, why do I continue to help people, when so few seem to want to help me?